All For Her
by Ekly Valdur
Summary: Spike thought Buffy wouldn't want to hear from him after he became corporeal. He had no idea how wrong he was. Will be Spuffy. Picks up where BTVS and ATS left off. This doesn't follow the comics but does touch on a few of their ideas. Please Review! And I own nothing! Joss refuses to share. T T
1. Chapter 1

It had started to pour rain, which he supposed was good. Harder for a moron with his cell phone to luck into a picture of what was about to go down that thing he needed was to try to deal with that sort of thing with everything else he had going on. Not every town could be as determinedly willing to explain away the weird as the former residents of Sunnydale had been. Right?

From where he stood, Xander could see the gathering demons. They seemed to come from no where, quiet dimensional doorways likely being te cause. Wolfram and Hart wasn't holding back-there seemed to be millions of monsters gathering. The city didn't stand a chance. Or it wouldn't have if Willow's coven hadn't seen this coming.

In the alley below he could see the shadowy forms of Angel's group meet up. They seemed worse for wear, which he expected. Captain hair gel apparently decided to take out some big powerful secret evil organization. This whole thing was basically a suicide mission for he LA group. Which was lucky for Angel. The majority of Scooby leaders have talked about what they would have to do to the new Wolfram and Hart CEO. This stunt showed them that he hadn't gone so far in the dark side like they'd been afraid he had.

"Let's go to work!"

He hear Angel yell a battle cry and rolled his eye. He was still so dramatic. Still, maybe it was justified this time from his point of view. Angel didn't know how lucky he was, the rain hid Xander's slayer army from sight and the water even his the smell of the girls he brought with him.

"You heard the vampire, let's get to it!" He called out to his girls who immediately sprung to action.

The group looked up in surprise in time to see the girl's move across rooftops, ready to join the fight.

That's when he saw the platinum hair on of of Angel's guys.

"Spike?! What the hell?" He was alive. How the hell was The Bleached Wonder alive after burning up in the hellmouth?

"Explanations will have to wait till later Harris." The blonde vampire turned to hit a big nasty demon. Xander forgot what that one was called. A Heriaro-something demon. Guess he's right. He'd have to see if they both survived this battle to get the answers to his questions. The questions Buffy would have.

* * *

The battle lasted most of the night. It would have been longer, but the blue lady had opened up a portal that sucked tons of the demons out of the streets. Pretty nice trick. It was just too bad it took her so long to get the thing open, three of his girls died fighting.

Elizabeth. Sandra. Katie. Three great slayers. Three wonderful girls. But he knew it could have been worse-he had expected worse. Didn't mean the loss didn't hurt.

When things settled down Angel offered up the rooms at his old hotel to Xander and his girls so they could rest before heading back. Xander agreed. Mostly because even through only three girls had been hurt enough to be gone, plenty of other girls had bad injuries and needed some time for their slayer healing to kick in. That and Xander had a talk coming with Captain Peroxide.

Xander stood with two of his slayers with him in the hotel lobby as he stared down Spike. "So how long have you been back Spike?"

Spike looked at Angel. "What, about nine ten months since you got the amulet in the mail?"

"Just about." Angel confirmed.

"Nine months? You've been back for nine months. And you never tried to call Buffy to let her know?"

"Don't worry mate. I didn't mean to bother the slayer."

"I see. Madeline," Xander looked to the layer on his left, "Do me a favor and hit Spike. Hard."

Before the vampire could react, Maddie punched him right in the nose, even making him stumble back a few feet, and promptly returned to her spot by Xander. Damn he loved having his girls with him.

"What in the bloody hell what that for!" Spike grabbed his nose, and some blood even ran down his face.

"I would have done it myself, but Madeline could make it hurt so much more." Xander shrugged a little.

"That's not what I meant-" 

He was cut off by the sound of Xander's cell phone ringing. Xander looked at it. Great. It was Andrew. "Hold on. Hello?"

"Xander, um... There's a little bit of a gigantic problem. My Buffy, she... "

"Spit it out Andrew, what happened to her?" He wasn't sure why, but he saw both vampires stiffen and really start to watch him now.

"She was bit. And drained. I only barely escaped the encounter! There were so many Vampyres!"

"Did she drink Andrew, could she have been turned?"

"I don't know. I didn't see."

"Then you need to find her body and stake her, fast Andrew. Very very fast."

"But I'm no good at stabbing..."

"Get Faith to help you, she's in Rome, she can get to you fast. Take care of it Andrew." He hung up, and looked at the vampires who-had they gone paler?

"Did something happen to Buffy?" Angel asked softly, hands stuffed in his pockets.

"No-not really. Why do you think Buffy was hurt?"

"We were in Rome," Spike answered, "We know she's been working with Andrew." 

"No she hasn't. She's a decoy Buffy. But now that she might have been turned she and she knows where Buffy is I need to move Buffy." 

"What are you talkin' about Harris?" Spike's eyes narrowed.

"Buffy is sorta in hiding. We have-HAD-three decoy Buffys. One was in Rome with Andrew. We wanted rumors about her being all over so no one could have too easy a time finding her."

"Buffy has never needed to hide." Angel looked at him, waiting for more explanation.

"Well she does right now and I need to help her to the next safe house. And I can't tell you why. But, and it really pains me to say this, I will take Spike with me to move her. She should see him.

They both looked surprised.

"Angel, I have to ask you to take care of my girls until they can go on their own."

Angel hesitated. He obviously wanted to go to Buffy to find out what was wrong but he seemed to know this wasn't a fight he would win.

Spike was harder to read. There was way too much going on with his face to figure him out, but after a moment all he said was "Let's be on our way then."


	2. Chapter 2

Fucking Harris wouldn't say a word about what was wrong with Buffy in all their travels. And Spike could see the git enjoyed watching him stew in his worries as he tried to figure out what in the hell had happened to keep Buffy in hiding.

Of course LAX had shut down when the apocalypse had started, so first they had a two hour drive to an airport, where imagine this-there was a private jet waiting for them. Which meant Spike could stop hiding under the blanket he had to take from the hotel since they were able to close all the little shutter on the jet windows.

After a day of quiet travels with the pissed off cyclops Spike found himself in the middle of-South Dakota? What the fuck was going on in South Dakota?

Harris drove up to the porch steps and turned off the car. "I'm giving you five minutes Spike, so you two can talk, and you can kinda... absorb. Now go."

Spike decided to ignore the fact that he was taking an order from Harris. The Prat. All that mattered right now was seeing Buffy, finding out what was managing to scare her into hiding so he could kill it.

He went up the porch steps and knocked on her door firmly, and when she opened the door his unneeded breathe stopped.

The most dramatic change was her hair. Those long golden locks he loved to play with were gone. It was cut so short it didn't even pass her ears, and it was brown. He realized it was her natural color, but a Buffy without her blonde highlights was simply unnatural. She wore plain and very conservative, baggy even, clothes and there wasn't a hint of make up on her. She didn't look herself at all, which he supposed was the point.

"Spike?" She stared at him, seemed to be in shock.

"Yeah Slayer, it's me. Could I come in? Harris said we can have a few minutes..."

"Um, sure. Come in." She stepped aside for him as he walked into her living room. "Spike, just... How? How are you here?"

"I got trapped in the amulet. It spat me back out after it arrived at Wolfram & Harts LA branch. We had our own Apocalypse, and Harris found me."

She paused, thinking her next question over. "When did the amulet get there? How long have you been back?"

He winced, wondering for a moment if his nose was about to be broken again, but before he could answer Buffy turned toward the back of the house.

"Hold on." She called back as she disappeared into what he figured was her room. She came right back though. Carrying a baby. A baby who looked to be screaming her head off, but no sound came from her.

"Buffy..." He breathed out her name, his body feeling numb as he watched her bounce and soothe the baby. When the little one calmed he could see bright blue eyes stare at him, and he swallowed hard.

"This is Joyce... We call her Joy though. It felt a little too weird to actually use my mom's name. I didn't think you would mind, since I know you liked my mom so much."

"She's mine?" He didn't look up from the small face as he took in her every feature, each budding detail he could see of the girl.

"She's ours."

"But how?" Now he looked at Buffy. "I'm a bloody vamp. I can't do that to you!"

"Well you did anyway... And it turns out there was a prophecy about it. Giles can't figure the whole thing out, but he did tell me he found something describing signs last year that she was coming. The the daughter of a slayer and a vampire would be born. That she has a destiny. But that's all we know."

It was all too much to learn at once. He was a father. Buffy was his daughter's mother. He had missed everything. He had a million questions.

"How old is she?"

"She's six months old."

"Oh god." He fidgeted, grabbed and pull his hair slightly as he turned about just enough to not be facing her. He couldn't bear for her to look at him in this moment. As he realized he'd been corporeal when his daughter was born. He could have been there. IT didn't matter that she was hiding. Angel could have given him Ripper's number. Even he would tell Spike how to find her if he had known .

"I was back before that. Before she was born."

"Oh... How long before?"

"A while. I was back as a ghost at first. Couldn't call. Couldn't dial a phone at first. But... I was solid for a about a month before then I think."

"Where you planning to find me. At all?"

He had to be honest. He couldn't have her know later he's lied. The Great Poof just might rat him out.

"No. I wasn't going to look for you. I figured you'll have been far past over me by then. I didn't rightly know if I could go see you and find you with someone. If I saw you and you told me you wanted me to go away. I decided it would be easier to stay away."

"You really didn't believe me then."

He turned back slightly and glanced up at her, eyebrow raised in question.

"When I told you I loved you. You didn't believe me... But I guess. Well, why would you, right?"

"You aren't mad it me?"He expected to be hurting a lot more after his admission.

"I kinda am, yeah. But I know it's not all your fault. I didn't give you any reasons to think it was true. I didn't do anything that should have made you want to find me."

"Buffy-" The car horn sounded from outside in three sharp blasts, and Buffy stopped to put Joy in a car seat.

"Sounds like it's time to go. Come on Spike. She grabbed her suitcase and a baby bag and went out the front door.

So he followed her quietly, cursing Harris all the more for the interruption.

* * *

The car ride with Spike was awkward and quiet. She wasn't about to keep talking in the car with Xander. But when they got onto the jet Xander was quick with the snoring. Apparently he's been up for at least the last full day.

So she was basically alone with Spike again. And she could tell he was trying to wait until she started them up again. He was smart enough to know she was upset.

She really was mad at the both of them. Mad at their entire situation. It wasn't fair. She spent so much time grieving for him, and it only got worse when she knew she was pregnant. When she held her daughter and knew that little Joyce would never meet Spike. And he'd been hanging around in LA with Angel.

It was even worse that it was her own fault he hadn't been there. She let him wear the amulet that killed him in the first place. She never told him how she felt before the day that he died. Why would her words have any weight when there was no way she would have to commit to them later?

"I meant it." She said softly, looking at him. "I meant what I said. I love you. If you still want to be with me, if you want to be with us, Spike... All you have to do is say so."

He moved to sit beside her and Joy. "You know I do. There's nothin' I could want more than to be with my girls. Keep you both safe from anything that might try to find her." He hesitated. "Why can't I hear her crying Buffy?"

"Oh, that. Willow has a spell on her so that only me and the rest of the Scooby Gang can hear her. That way if a fight came to us I could try to hide her. If I didn't make it the monsters couldn't follow her crying but one of them could. I have tri-daily check ins with everybody. I call Xander, Will and Giles every day so they know we're okay."

"Could you have Red Fix it? I want to hear her."

"I'm sure she would. I'll call her when we get to the house."

"Good." He hesitated, then he wrapped an arm around her, so she leaned against him. It's amazing how her whole world had changed in just a day. She wasn't sure what living with Spike alone would be like. It should be good for them. Her biggest reason to hold herself back from had been her friends. She had cared so much what they thought that she kept looking at Spike through their eyes rather than her own.

She turned in his hold, looked up at him, and kissed him. It was soft but deep, tender but desperate. She felt beyond desperate for the feel of him. Just watching him sit there without contact felt too surreal and dreamlike for her to really believe this day was happening. She needed this to be real.


	3. Chapter 3

Harris took them all to Missouri.

Bloody hell. Nothing interesting happened in _Missouri_.

But then that was the point, wasn't it?

This house was isolated as the last. At least a mile of land in any direction before you could reach a neighbor. The place was a tight two bedroom, which Spike himself appreciated. He rather liked the idea of sharing a room with his slayer.

Though, he couldn't be sure of how well that would go.

She told him she loved him, kissed him till his insides felt all gooey and warm, and she hadn't once relaxed. She felt so distant. Her words sounded rehearsed, like she had to think each thing she said to him through in her head again and again. She sounded like she had at the Hellmouth when she said she loved him.

He was as sure now as he was then that she was lying to him.

Then, it had been from pity. Now? Well he supposed it was for Joy.

It was for Joy he could play along. He needed to be in his daughter's life. He wanted desperately to be in Buffy's. He could try to make her happy. At least for as long as she said she wanted him around.

"Thank you Xander." He watched her hug Harris, and stood back to wait for the man-child to leave.

"Anything for you Buff. Joy too." He hugged her back. "Call me if you need anything. Anything. You know I'll find the time to come back." He stepped back, cooed ridiculously at Spike's only recently awake daughter and finally left.

Now they were alone. Just the three of them.

"About time he left."

"Hey," She looked at him. "be nice. Xander has helped us a lot. Way a lot. Try to be nice."

"Not like the boy is going to extend me that sort of courtesy."

"He might. After a while. He actually was mostly over hating you last month. He hasn't made a snarky comment about you since Joy was born."

"Well he's past that. Had one of your girls break my nose after the big fight."

"Well... I guess he's mad again. New topic. You haven't held Joy yet. Here."

The next thing he knew he has a squirming baby girl in his arms. It was awkward, and strange and breathe-taking. Well it would have been if he needed to breathe. He felt his chest constrict either way. He tried to adjust her, holding her closer to his body and watched the little girl who seemed to eye him uneasily.

"I think I'll try calling Will over so she can work her mojo for us and you can hear all of Joy's little noises."

"I'd like that. It's unsettling to see her on mute." He sat with his daughter as Buffy pulled out her cell phone. "Does Red hate me too?" Might as well know before she showed.

"Hate you? No. I think... I'm pretty sure Xander's hate flare up has more to do with the you being back but not finding us thing. Which Willow doesn't know about. Things got... really bad. He'll get over it once you've been here a while." She dialed her phone and got on before he could ask any follow up questions.

What had Buffy been through in last year? Had she really been attacked all that many times while she was in hiding? 'Cause if she had been then why bother?

"Hey Willow. I'm needing to ask you a sorta huge favor. I had to move to the next house. But Spike is here. We were hoping you could pop over and work your mojo so Spike can hear Joy. Um, the amulet kinds absorbed him, spat him back out later... Don't worry about it Will. So can you come over tonight. Great. Thanks. We'll see you in a few." She hung up and turned back to him. "She's going to be right over."

"Nice of Red to come on short notice."

"Yeah..."

Bloody hell this was already damned awkward.

"So how is she going to get here so quick?"

"Oh, Willow has mastered teleportation spells."

"Really?" Huh. He was confused. "Why not have her come and take you both to the new safe house then?"

"It still takes a ton of energy. She tries to to use it too much in case there's an emergency, so we don't rely on her for taxi services." She smiles a little at her small joke, and he couldn't help but do the same. His girl was still in there, no matter what had happened since he'd seen her to make her look so small and tired.

Then there was a swirl of white sparklies and energy and poof, Red stood there in his new livin' room.

"Wow," Willow smiled at him. "Look at you all undusty. I'm glad you're back."

"Thanks Red, for that and for comin' over so quick."

"No biggie. Oh, and look how big Joy is! Hey baby." She cooed and held Joy's small hand, shaking it about lightly.

"She grows like crazy Will," Buffy chimed in. "She's outgrown all those halloween themed onesies you got."

"Oh poo. It'll be months before I can get her new ones. It's only June!"

"I don't think I want to know." Spike eyed them in mock suspicion, which got him the reward of Red's awkward-nervous smile. "So this spell, it's not too risky is it?"

"Oh no, it's easy-peasy." The witch held up a little bowl she used to grind up a green goop. "Just an application and a couple magic words." She dabbed her finger in the goo and managed to get a dab in Joy's mouth, both girls gave a giggle when the babe made a sour face. Then she got another big dab and put some on each of his ears. "O, Tartaros keimenon Basileion necron. Phainsastos hemin!"

And like a light switch being flipped he could suddenly hear his daughter's drooly babbling noises. Music to his ears.

"Thanks Will," Buffy touched her friend's arm. "One more favor though?" She pulled out her phone. "Take our picture?"

"Um, I don't like pictures." He spoke up.

"You can't stand with us for ten seconds and smile so we can have our first family photo?" Buffy raised her brow at him, anger and annoyance glinting in her eyes.

"Uh, right then. Picture time." He used his hand to wipe any goo out of his ears. He used one arm to hold his daughter, and one arm snaked around Buffy as the witch clicked the picture, and handed Buffy the phone back.

"Okay," Red smiled again. "Time for Willow to get back. I left Kennedy waiting..."

"Come for a real visit some time soon, hm?" Buffy left his arm to give Red a hug.

"I will. Promise." The swirly lights came back and swallowed her up, leaving them alone again.

"I should make Joy her bottle." She told him as she headed to the kitchen, and he followed her lazily. Don't want to look like an over-eager puppy nippin' at her heals. He watched her as she made baby formula, but he was surprised when she opened a small pack of blood and mixed it in as she shook the plastic bottle.

"She drinks blood?"

"Yeah. We figured out she would need it when I was pregnant. We stick to animal blood though. Pig. Cow. It makes her an eager eater. Want to feed her?"

"Sure." He took the bottle she held out, readjusted Joy and fed her. Buffy was right, she was a very eager girl.

"I'm going to run to the convenience store." She announced suddenly, and he looked back up at her. "Well if Joy wasn't just a destiny thing and it turns out being soul-having is all it takes for a vampire to be a daddy then we need to be careful. I'm going to get us some supplies. You should try to put her to bed before I get back." She smiled at him, and if he hadn't been holding the baby that look would have gotten her pinned to the wall. Damn girl could make him want her so easily.

"I'll do that." He swallowed, watched her smirk a bit more and saunter out the door. Sadly, Joy watched her go too, and the girl broke out into screams around her bottle.

This wasn't going to be as simple as he'd hoped.

* * *

A/N: I just wanted to say thank you for the reviews! It really makes working on a chapter feel so much more worthwhile!


	4. Chapter 4

It took a few weeks but Buffy and Spike were able to get pretty comfortable in their new home. And to the relief of both of them Joy has attached herself completely to Spike.

Poor guy was miserable that he couldn't handle her alone at first. She would apparently go ballistic every time Buffy left them alone. So Buffy did some reading on her phone and was able to show him it was completely normal and had nothing to do with him. Joy just happened to be old enough to have long term memory, which meant being alone with someone she didn't know was scary for her.

He felt at least a little better to know it was a problem that would fade.

And boy did it.

She smiled as she watched her wobbly-walking daughter follow Spike down the hall. She does this all the time now. She completely adores her daddy.

"Our girl is ready for her lunch." He says with a smile as he heads for the kitchen.

"We better not keep her waiting." She smiles and puts Joy in her high chair while Spike mixes a bowl of baby food and blood and they both sits at the table with her.

Domestic bliss was decidedly quiet while they kept waiting for Giles to translate Joy's prophecy. Their days were centered around their daughter, with some sparring sessions sprinkled in during naps. She was way rustier than she liked, not to mention out of shape. She hadn't been in a real fight since she found out she was pregnant after all. A fight that was leading to a touch of awkwardness between her and Spike.

The first time hadn't been on purpose, it had just so happened that once they got started neither of them worried about turning the lights on as they made it to their room. They were bot so caught of in the taste and feel of the other, they even missed their bed. But then that wasn't anything new, was it?

But each time after that, she made sure the lights were out before clothes came off. After the first few times she could see the question in his eyes, though he never said anything to her. She knew it was just a matter of time before either he asked or he'd catch a peep of her.

She didn't want him to see her naked.

It was for a couple reasons. One she figured was kinda normal. Even as a slayer she couldn't completely bounce back from pregnancy, especially since she hadn't really done any sort of slayage in so long.

She wasn't down to her old size thanks to her stretched out marked up stomach and hips. The weight she lost during her pregnancy made her look almost skeletal in her upper body, including her face.

But the bigger reason was the new scars. She knew Spike, and she knew he wouldn't mind the scars themselves. But she also knew he was enough of a dope to get all glum and guilty over at least one, but she wouldn't be surprised if he managed to feel bad for most of them.

She had a scar from the gunshot wound Warren had inflicted on her just after Spike had gone to get his soul. That of course Spike couldn't have helped, she was shot in the daylight.

And there was her cesarean scar. She still hadn't gone into details on what carrying Joy had been like. Toward the end the demands on her body had been so high she started to seize, and then she became coma girl. She didn't wake up until Joy was two months old.

Then there was the only new slayer battle related new scar.

The last fight she had been in did not go well for her. It was something called a Krezoul demon. Nasty and beast-like, she was sure she would have killed it without too much trouble. Until she was hit with this sudden nausea and dizziness that she she hated to admit, made her pass out. Then the demon got all chompy while she was out- and had sunk dozens of teeth into her arm and shoulder. She was very lucky her team of slayers had been able to kill the think before it got a second bite.

Once she woke up at the hospital all her Scooby pals had come to see her. Between her blood absorbing baby and her injuries she almost hadn't made it.

Her dizzy spell, as the doctors called it, had been the result of a real lack of blood in her system. She didn't need to be a genius to realize her vampire baby was the cause of a lack of blood.

"You still with us pet?" Spike was looking at her all concerned and she realized she'd spaced out. Oops.

"I'm fine. Go get some blood for yourself." She stole what babyfood/blood was left and fed Joy another spoonful.

He stood with a shrug, but he obeyed, getting a mug of blood and sticking it in the microwave for himself. "Think we should call Ripper, see what progress he's made?"

"If he knew anything I'm sure he would call us."

"Well then maybe he could send a copy this way. In case it's something I might recognize."

"Couldn't hurt I guess."

"I just really need some answers. I feel a bit bonkers just wondering what's in store for her."

"I know. I feel all wiggy too. But I just keep trying to remember that thing thing might not mean what we will think it means. My first prophecy said I would die at the hands of the master. And I did, but it was only for a minute. Prophecy didn't say anything about my instant revival."

"I 'spose you're right... They do seem to usually come true in the one way no one would expect. Still can't help wantin' to know though." He grabbed his blood, sat with her again and sipped the mug.

"I know. I'm sure Giles will figure it out soon."

* * *

She called Giles after she got Joy down for a nap, Spike sat in the living room with her, watching and listening.

"Oh, Buffy, hello... How are you and Joyce doing?"

"We're okay Giles. I was hoping maybe you've made some progress?"

"I see. Of course. Well."

"That sounds like a yes Giles. What does it say?"

"I have not finished it yet Buffy. There could be more, that will change what it means."

"Just say what you know Giles, tell me what it says."

"If my translations are correct, it says that Joyce will be responsible for cleansing the vampires of this dimension."

"That's..." She looked at Spike. "Oh no..."


	5. Chapter 5

Nothing in Xander's life had been simple since the day he'd helped Buffy move.

Of course Andrew didn't manage to steak Beth. And of course she had risen.

She's been seen all over Europe since she was turned. Not causing too much trouble considering. Then last night a house full of little slayers in training was attacked.

Giles had been called by one of the girls hoping for help, but by the time they could get anyone there all of the girls were gone.

From what Xander could tell, someone was building an army of vampires, ones who had the strength of Slayers as humans. He shuddered at the thought. Whatever this army was being made for had to be Apocalypse level stuff.

The last month had been a nightmare of pulling back from smaller missions to reorganize the girls into as few groups as possible, kick the newbies training into high gear and finding as many new slayers as possible so they could have at least some kind of protection. After all, as much potential and strength as these girls had, it did them very little good if they still didn't even know what a vampire was.

Faith and three slayers she picked out were acting like a black ops unit, trying to dig around the underworld to figure out what the big plan was.

Giles was deep into his research books,seeing what else he could find while trying to suss out Joy's prophecy.

Willow even had her coveny contacts trying too See into the future.

And Xander was in New York with the State's share of found slayers.

Sure, he was still in the loop, but her felt more like a den mother than a productive Scooby.

He should be used to that after nearly a decade of under-achieving, right?

He poured himself another drink and knocked it back before glaring at his computer screen again.

There wasn't much he could do from here, but if he were lucky some blogger type personality might have posted something about seeing a group bumpy-yellow eyed women. As far as they could tell, the group was still in Europe. France was the last for-sure location.

And knowing where they wanted to make trouble could be half the battle in finding out what their plans were.

Hours of Googling later and Xander had no new information but a very nice buzz that wouldn't take much pushing to get to full blown drunk. He looked at his bottle and frowned. He already emptied the bottle. He should have started drinking later and quicker instead of early enough and slow enough to not get past his current buzz.

He couldn't leave. Sun wasn't up yet and there was no way he would leave his girls during the night-just in case. He knew he couldn't do much in a fight against a group of turned slayers, but he'd manage to help somehow, even if he only slowed them down.

He closed his laptop and rubbed his eye tiredly. It apparently wasn't bad enough that he had to deal with his patch problems, but the eye he had was now working twice as hard as it used to. Which made his eye sore. Eyes are not supposed to feel sore.

He looked at his phone, wondering again if he should call Buffy and tell her what's been going on.

On one hand, he didn't want to bother her with something that shouldn't have anything to do with her. She had enough to worry about since Giles had told her about the bit of prophecy he had sussed out.

It was amazing news for the world. Joy was going to get rid of all the vamps. Everywhere.

Sure, other monsters would still be around but hey, thousands, if not millions of monsters would be gone.

But Buffy wouldn't handle losing Spike again well. He hated to think of her going through that kind of loss again. And the idea of Joy getting all attached to her father and the possibility that she would get him dusted one day did not sit right with him.

On the other hand, he just had this random gut feeling that she needed to be in the know.

And his gut feelings did not ever go away. His friends knew better than anyone that logic could not change his mind when his gut felt something.

He would call her, to be safe. She should know. But he would have to wait until he sobered up. No calling Scooby people when he was sloshed. If they picked up on it he wasn't sure what they would do, but he knew it would only cause trouble. As long as he did his job it didn't matter what else he did, and he knew they wouldn't get that.

* * *

Spike sat back and watched his daughter play. The girl was fascinated with her shapes sorter, her little brows furrowed together as she works out which plastic block goes into which hole.

Buffy had gone to the market for groceries. Always took her at least an hour, and that was if she wasn't grabbin much. It took nearly twenty minutes to drive to the damn town. So he had a while. Didn't mind it too much. The house has felt incredibly tense since the watcher's news, neither of them knowing what to say about the news that if he didn't get himself dusted some other way his daughter will end up killing him.

He was okay with it, mostly. He knew he really shouldn't be with the livin' now. Been around for more than a bloody century.

Yet, there was so much he wouldn't get to see if this happened too soon.

He knew this wasn't something that would happen when Joy was forty. The Powers didn't work that way. They even found a way to age up that Conner kid with all the dimensional travel bull shit. He might have a hell of a time doing it, but if anything tried to do the same to his girl he'd massacre anyone and everyone responsible.

The powers liked their warriors young, in their prime. It was the reason slayers were always so damn young when they were called.

He didn't want to miss anything in his daughter's life. He wanted to be there for her for anything and everything.

Still, he was okay. He knew so many parents missed their kid's lives. His mother had no idea what he'd ended up like. Buffy's mum didn't get to be there with Buffy through her pregnancy, or when her namesake was born.

He certainly didn't deserve better than the likes of them. He could accept what would happen.

The worst of it though, was thinkin' that Joy might feel responsible. He had to be sure she knew he supported what she would do. Couldn't have her blaming herself for doing that much good.

He would just make the best of things until his time was up. What else could a bloke do?

He had his daughter who made him feel not just incredibly happy, but content. Normally spending a month without so much as a verbal tussle would drive him bloody crazy. He didn't mind it when he watched her though.

And he had Buffy to an extent. It was true that if it weren't for Joy he'd leave her. 'Cause if it weren't for Joy, Buffy wouldn't want him around. He was finally at a point he could accept that, and be strong enough to leave her be to make her happy. At least all this prophecy business meant she wouldn't feel obligated to stay with him once Joy was grown and gone, he wouldn't be here for her to send away.

He couldn't even pretend things were okay between them when they were in bed together.

Course it was a good time in the sense that they both got their jollies. Hell, he sometimes got her up to three of her own before she passed out on him, the tinglies making her eyes heavy and her body relaxed. The fit well together, much as they ever did when they first started bein' together.

Didn't mean anything. Being with him hadn't meant anything to her back then when she was fresh outta her grave, and it meant nothin' now. She couldn't even look at him when clothes started coming off. She hit the lights every time. She was likely tryin' to imagine he were someone else. The thought made his skin crawl.

The only time things felt right between them was when she slept. They held each other each night, they way they had in that abandoned house before the fight with The First. Even knowing it didn't mean to her what it did to him, he couldn't stop lovin' just holding her in his arms. It felt right.

Now, knowing that he was very unlikely to make it through the next twenty years, he just had to enjoy every bit of her as much as he could for as long as he could and hope it was enough once his time came.


	6. Chapter 6

A/N: Hercules8, you might want to re-read the beginning of chapter three to understand Spike's thoughts in my last chapter.

Than to everyone who has left me comments so far!

* * *

"Was Joy good while I was gone?" Buffy stood in the kitchen putting away groceries. Salads, cereal, canned soups, and Joy's baby food. It was all Buffy-proof food, meaning she couldn't screw any of it up before eating it. Plus a box of hot cocoa mix and bag of marshmallows for a certain vampire.

"Course she was. She can't really cause any mischief just yet if you keep an eye on her."

"Right. You're right. Silly Buffy."

"It's alright Buffy. No reason to worry right now, is there?"

He could always read her too damn well. "Just call me Worry Girl. My powers include worrying at both appropriate and inappropriate times."

"It's just a silly thing to do luv. No guarantees in life but death and taxes, right? Though come to think of it, can't rightly remember the last time I paid taxes."

"Haha."

"My point bein' that this prophecy, this thing that our girl is going to do for the world, isn't going to happen for years. With all the trouble we get into there wasn't exactly a certainty I wouldn't get myself dusted before then. If I'm lucky enough to get another ten or twenty years then it'll have to be enough."

"Guess you're right." She leaned against the counter, crossed her arms across herself. "I have a hard time imagining myself getting past thirty. You know I'm the oldest slayer in recorded watcher history?"

"Doesn't matter. You changed the game. You'll be the first slayer to turn grey and wrinkly." He smiled, eyes teasing. He was baiting her.

She smiled despite herself. "Shut up."

He smiled more, knowing he was getting to her. How did he manage to say the right thing so often? Battle speeches aside she was no wordsmith. And the speeches she was only decent at because of haviing to give so many in such a short time.

He stepped up to her, pulled her hands into his. "Buffy, as long as I'm here you and Joy will be safe. And if I last long enough for the prophecy to do what it will, Joy will be old enough to keep you safe. You'll find a way to outlive every one of your Scoobies."

"I don't think it counts if I've already died twice. And I am not lassoing Joy to me. After the prophecy she might be able to have a normal happy life."

"I never enjoyed normal much myself. And you're not as built for it as much as you'd like to think. I doubt Joy will be. And if she's at all like either of us she will be glad to look after her mother, because she loves you dearly. That won't change."

She didn't like the idea of that. She knew how hard it was to look after family. She didn't want that kind of burden on her daughter. But this was all silly to talk about. Her daughter wasn't a year old and between the prophecy and Spike her daughter's whole life was being plotted out.

"Look, point taken. Future is all undetermined. Worry Girl is officially off duty. Happy?"

"Could say that." He lifted her hands and kissed her knuckle, sparkle in his eye as his gaze met hers again. She smiled and leaned forward, kissing him softly and squeezing his hands back with her own.

"Thank you Spike. I do feel better."

"It's what I'm here for. Now go on to the bath, we both know you want to and I'll have something waiting on the table for you when you get out."

She raised a brow. "You know Buffy food needs no cooking?"

"You got soup didn't you? It'll be warm when your bath is done."

"Okay. But I'm going to play with Joy first."

"Will not. You'll get her all riled before bed. Off you go, I'll be putting her down."

She pouted. "You had her the whole time I was out."

"You know I'm right. She see's you now and she'll fight goin' down for at least an hour, probly two."

"Yeah... I guess." She'd taken longer getting groceries than she planned, and if Joy saw her just before bed she would be too excited over seeing Buffy to sleep. "You win. Again."

"It's 'bout time, don't you think?"

"Yeah. How many wins is that for you?"

"Get in your bath slayer." He mock-growled and she laughed, gave him another quick kiss and ran off to her tub. Her day was looking up.

* * *

Spike heard the water come one, and he set Joy's night time ritual into gear. Warm bath in the sink, fresh onesie, bedtime story with a go in the rocking chair. He laid her down with no trouble, adding the final touch of her musical mobile in it's five minute setting. Ever since finding this magical combination of full, clean, warm and soothed he and Buffy had been enjoying many calm and restful nights. This and her age got her to sleep about six hours in the night now.,

Buffy was libel to take at least another twenty minutes, so he grabbed the photo album Buffy had made for Joy and her newest developed pictures, ready to add them to the book.

Buffy obsessed over the album. She developed a real passion for them, and when he asked her why she never put her camera down and just enjoyed the moments, she told him how she realized how much it meant when she lost all of her family pictures. She didn't have one picture of her mother, or of little sis pre-Sunnydale destruction.

He loved that she told him. 'Specially since it had given him an idea for her birthday. True, it was six months away, but it would be perfect if it worked out. He decided to ask Giles to help him track down Buffy's father. Little chance as there was, he wanted to see if the old man happened to keep and family photos himself. The reason he needed such an early start was that no one knew where Hank Summers was. Bastard didn't bother to keep in touch.

He just had to hope the man wouldn't suddenly want to see his daughters. Buffy hold him that she never even told her father about Joy. Said it didn't matter, because if Hank couldn't be her father then he didn't deserve to be Hope's grandfather. Spike couldn't agree more.

He flipped through the pages of the photo album yet again before going to the empty pages in the back. There was at least one picture from every week of Joy's life, with plenty of extras any time there was an occasion. There were plenty from the day she was born. IT was in this book he discovered the root of Red's comment about Halloween clothes for Joy. In several pictures he saw his daughter in assorted Halloween shirts with little cartoon monsters on it. Including one purple shirts with one vampires face on it, fangs and all. No wonder she hadn't told him what she'd been talk'in bout.

There were even a few pictures of each Scooby holding his daughter. Labeled thing's like "Joy with Grandpa Giles November, 2006". Then Aunt Willow, Uncle Xander and all that sort of nonsense. Though he supposed it didn't bother him as much now as before, since Joy now new himself better than the rest of the "family".

What was odd though was that Buffy wasn't in a picture until Joy was over two months hold. How could it not occur to anyone to get a picture of the two of them?

He would ask her about it later.

He flipped though the rest of the pages and added the new ones. Pictures of Joy in a new dress. Ones of her playing in the back yard. He had taken the pictures of Joy and Buffy from the safety of the sun-blocking porch. He loved zoom feature.

Once he was done he got himself ready for bed by strippin down, he sat in the bed and waited for Buffy to come out of the bath, and ready to switch off the lights for her when she got into the bed.


	7. Chapter 7

Spike was right about the bath. It did wonders for her. Hard to be Worry Girl when you're sitting in bubbles.

She came out in her robe, and found Spike sitting on the bed. "Hey, where's my soup."

"Oh, Buffy, luv, I'm sorry. I distracted myself with the album." He held up the photo album as proof. "Putting in the new pictures you had developed last week. But I'll make it now, while you relax in bed."

"No, it's okay. I wasn't that hungry." She got in bed with him, cuddled into his side.

"Are you sure? It won't take long to heat, just a few minutes."

"I'm sure. Settle down." She smiled at him, leaned in and kissed the side of his chin softly.

"You been skippin' a lot of meals lately, haven't you? You don't tend to eat at lunch, when you do you're like a bird pickin at bits, not finishing things off."

"I don't need to. I'm an inactive slayer. I have more energy than I can work out which makes me anxious and fidgety."

"Doesn't seem healthy to me pet."

"I can take care of myself Spike. Don't be such a worry wort." She sat up, slowly straddled his hips. "I'm perfectly fine. Should I show you?" She made sure to make her point by pressing herself against him as she kissed him deeply.

"Buffy..." Her name on his lips was slow, a cross between warning and wanting tones.

"You know I wouldn't do anything that would hurt me when I need to be here for my family." She held his face in her hands, looking him in the eye. "Right?"

"I s'pose so. I don't particularly like it though. Get any smaller and the wind will carry you away from me."

"Doubtful. Feel better if I promise to eat and extra big breakfast?"

"Alright then. Just want you feelin' well."

"I know you do." She kissed him again, deeper, longer and enjoyed him kissing her back just as passionately, pulling her closer to him. "And I do want to show you just how good I feel here with you." She smiled at him, and leaned over to reach for the lamp switch, and her robe shifted...

* * *

He saw her reach for the lamp, and before she got to it the robe fell off her shoulder. He grabbed her arm as she kept reaching for the light to stared. "Buffy... What's this?"

The scar was huge, from the top of her shoulder down nearly to her elbow. Not just that, but there were marks along at least the front side of her ribs. The edges were jagged, and, bloody hell, in some places the skin was uneven. Bit's of the flesh in her arm were gone.

He looked at her, her posture had gone slack and she was looking at her arm, surveying the damage he'd been inspectin'. Her face was nearly blank, but he could see a bit of fear and sadness there too.

"It's nothing. Battle scar. It's from the last fight I was in, just before I found out I was pregnant. You don't need to make a big deal about it."

He pulled her hand close again so she wouldn't go for the light, then hes slowly traced the scar with his fingers. "Something took a bite outta you..."

"Yeah. But the other slayers killed it quick when it was on me."

"Is this... Buffy, is this why you always want the lights off?" He looked her in the eye as he waited for her answer, watched her heave a sigh.

"I didn't want you to see me, how ugly these scars-"

"Hold on there pet. Don't you use that word about anything that's apart of you. Silly Buffy. You should know battle scars are a turn on for a guy like me, hm?" He leaned forward and kissed the top of her scar softly, and she practically shivered in response, she leaned into him and he held her close.

Never before could he remember feeling such conflicting emotions at one. He was upset that she felt ashamed enough to hide what had happened to her. He was completely pissed he wasn't there to help her, though if she hadn't known she were pregnant yet he probably couldn't have been there anyway... And there was a complete relief in knowing she hadn't turned the lights because she didn't want to see him.

It had made him feel ill each time they were together to think she couldn't stand to see him when he was with her.

"You're just saying that to make me laugh." She still sounded sullen, but she held onto him, her head against his shoulder.

"You know me too well, eh pet? It's true I can't like the idea of something hurtin' you bad enough to leave a mark. But scars mean more than bein' Buffy. They mean you're stronger than what it was that hurt you, because you're still here. You're so strong Buffy.

She held him tighter and he could feel her face against his neck, her warmth seeping into his skin.

"I know I shouldn't have hid them, I just... It's like I wanted to pretend they didn't happen. And that would be harder to do once you knew.

"Them? How many are there Buffy?"

"Just two more..." She sat up straighter, and he watched her slowly pull off her robe and discard it on the floor. "This happened... When you left for Africa." She held her hand to her chest and tapped her finger beside a small mark, no bigger than a dime, right near her heart. "Warren shot me. You kinda knew, because we told you he killed Tara when he tried to kill me, remember?"

"I remember. You didn't say how close he'd come..."

"Well things were awkward then... didn't seem like you needed to know since I was fine. Willow got the bullet out with magic, healed me. I would have been gone if she hadn't."

"Thank the powers for Red then."

"Last one is a cesarean scar." She shifted back a bit, enough so he could see the long thing scar on the underside of her belly.

"Trouble maker right from the start eh? Joy get all turned around in there?"

"No." She shook her head slightly. "And yes. No to getting turned around, big yes to trouble maker. It was really tough Spike. She drained me, made me sick. I couldn't have her naturally because I was in a coma when she was born."

"Bloody hell... I'm so sorry Buffy, for not being there with you. I'm sorry everything is always so hard on you, when I should be making it better, easier."

"That's what you're doing right now." She leaned in and kissed him deeply, grasping his shoulder and pressing her chest to his.

He kissed her back, feeling real passion in their bed for the first time since they had come here.


End file.
